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Avenue in the East Village. But Audrey, a well entrenched regular, said she'd get the
bartender to put them behind the bar while we were there.
We all decided to start the evening at the club, then plan our next moves. The boys
had their toys with them in other words, Cormac and Rogue were still riding their
Harleys but this time Benny said she'd join me in a taxi. The men on bikes went
roaring down Fifth Avenue while we flagged a Yellow Cab. Audrey was coming along
with us too. She definitely wasn't dressed for riding bitch.
As we settled ourselves in the backseat, with Benny in the middle, I leaned forward
and said to Audrey, "You're not in the right clothes for team blood hunting, but you
look fabulous. What designer are you wearing?"
"Juicy Couture. Their summer collection. Isn't it precious?"
"It looks terrific on you," I said.
She grinned. "Thanks. And believe me, I can hunt in this. It's a mini. Great range of
motion. I am absolutely famished, so I intend to win tonight."
With that my own stomach rumbled. I had drunk another pint of type O negative from
my refrigerator stash before I left the apartment. After my "donation" to Darius, the
pint didn't leave me feeling sated. I should have drunk two, I guessed. And as my
thoughts turned to Darius, I felt anxious about getting back home as early as I could. If
I hadn't promised Benny I'd help her, I would make up some excuse to leave and be on
my way back already. All I could think about was being with him.
No, experience had not been a good teacher. I had been avoiding the truth. Now I had
to face facts. You don't get to choose whom you love. And I had blindly, wildly,
unreservedly fallen in love with Darius. It was the kind of love that happens once in a
lifetime. For me, in a very long lifetime, it had happened just twice. First, nearly two
hundred years ago, I had felt this way about George Gordon, Lord Byron. Now, from
the day we met, it had been Darius who commanded my heart.
It was unlikely I would ever feel this way again. Like Othello, I loved not wisely, but too
well.
And love was a terrible paradox for me for everyone who has ever loved, I suppose.
Alone I had been an independent creature, proud of my ego, certain of myself, even
when I didn't admire my behavior very much. But with this kind of love the self was
submerged into another's being. At worst, this love was a voluntary servitude. At
best and by that I mean at its deepest, most powerful love became eternal
submission. The beloved's wishes meant more than one's own. The beloved's life was
worth sacrificing one's own. Without the beloved's reciprocation nothing mattered.
One fell into a hell of one's own making more agonizing than any other torment.
And one of the truisms about love was that women and men both felt as though they
must bind themselves to their beloved, two as one. They willingly gave up their
freedom. For their lover, they forsook all others, even family, even friends. Betrayed
their king. Gave up their crown. Think Romeo and Juliet. Lancelot and Guinevere.
Tristan and Isolde. King Edward and Wallis Simpson. Darius and me.
I had fought the inevitable long enough. I took a deep breath. Confession time.
"I have something to tell you," I announced.
The last time I said those very words, we were also all together in the backseat of a
New York Yellow Cab. Then I had asked Benny and Audrey to be bridesmaids in my
wedding to St. Julien Fitzmaurice. I inwardly cringed at that, for while I had been very
fond of Fitz, I had not been in love with him. What I was about to tell my friends would
sound vain and fickle. Never mind. I plunged on.
"I'm back with Darius. At least, I think I am."
That bombshell meant nothing to Audrey; she had never met my ex. But it landed like
an IED on Benny. Among the many slights and offenses she ascribed to him, Benny
blamed Darius for vampire hunters exterminating our teammate Bubba Lee. I could tell
she wasn't exactly jumping up and down with joy at my news.
"Since when?" she demanded.
"Last night," I replied.
Benny turned to Audrey with a jerk of her shoulder that eloquently stated her pique at
me. "Now, you don't know him, Audrey, so let me tell you something. This here Darius,
he's a snake in the grass. An ungrateful snake too, as if being an ordinary rattler,
poisonous as can be, ain't hardly enough."
"You're kidding." Audrey poked her head around Benny's big Texas style hair so I could
see her. "Is that true?" she asked me.
I shrugged. "Not exactly."
Benny swiveled her head in my direction. She was spitting like a cat. "Don't you dare
call me a liar. Let Audrey make up her own mind." She showed me her rigid back and
faced the vampire librarian turned fashion model to make her pitch for Darius as a no
account, two timing, double crossing hound dog. I didn't like it much.
"Here's what happened," she said. "This Darius? He was a Navy SEAL who got into the
intelligence end of things. And we was all after the same terrorists here in New York
City. This wasn't all that long ago, either. Things got rough toward the end of the
mission, a firefight out in New Jersey, and Darius, he got shot bad. Daphne& well, she
had already gone gaga for him. I give it to you that he's good looking and sexy as all
get out. But, honey, pretty is as pretty does, my mama always said.
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