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assemble your terrible invention under the Lobynian Desert?"
"Yes, I was told it was our internationalist duty."
"No. It was because I threatened to ally myself with the U.S. I said to your
General Secretary: 'What good are Russian weapons if they cannot fend off an
American attack, and of what use are Soviet promises if they crumble before
the might of the U.S.?' They tried to reason with me. But I would have none of
it. I desired revenge. And if pretending to be a friend of the U.S. would be
my only recourse, then I would hold my nose and shake their bloody hands."
An unhappy look crossed Pyotr Koldunov's tight face and Colonel Intifadah knew
that he had struck a nerve.
He knew the Russian resented the use his precious weapon was being put to.
"So to keep me placated," Colonel Intifadah went on, "they offer me this
weapon of yours. They make promises. More promises. 'Colonel Intifadah, it is
the greatest invention ever devised by a human mind.' 'Colonel Intifadah, with
it you can strike into the heart of America without fear of retaliation.'
'Colonel Intifadah, with this device, you can deliver a nuclear weapon to any
point on the earth without fear of satellite detection.' "
"All of this is true. My device can do exactly that."
"And so they make me sign another agreement. And I have the weapon. I am a
proud man again. I have been given new teeth for my mouth. I have a rod with
which to smite my enemies. And when the weapon has been delivered and
assembled, what do I learn?"
"It works," Pyotr Koldunov said stubbornly.
"Oh, it works. But where are the nuclear weapons? Where are the missiles for
this glorious new missile-delivery system?"
Page 48
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"No one promised Lobynia nuclear weapons."
"You said that on the day the launcher was assembled. You also said that to
strike America with nuclear weapons would be unthinkable. Do you remember
telling me that?"
"Clearly."
"Clearly! Not as clearly as I!" thundered Colonel Intifadah. "I had visions of
America reduced to a burning wasteland and I found that I had been given the
pistol but no ammunition."
"The device is still a prototype. It should be tested with less volatile
projectiles. A malfunction at launch could possibly detonate a nuclear
explosion on Lobynian soil."
"I would have taken that risk! But did your country offer a choice?"
"It was not in the agreement."
"No," Colonel Intifadah said bitterly. "It was not in the agreement. No. Not
at all." The Colonel paced back and forth behind his desk, his black eyes
flashing like ebony buttons. He turned suddenly and pointed at the Russian
with light green gloves.
"When the U.S. bombed Dapoli, you know what was said? It was said that the
Russians saw it as an opportunity to see how Soviet-made anti-aircraft-missile
batteries would deal with American weapons under true battle conditions. That
the Soviets saw the bombing of Dapoli as a mere test for their ordnance."
"That may have been a by-product of the incident," Koldunov admitted coolly.
He showed no fear. As loudly as he yelled, Colonel Intifadah could not get a
rise out of him.
"Yes, I am glad you admit that much. Because I believe it is happening once
again."
"I do not understand."
"This!" Colonel Intifadah said, stabbing his desk with a finger. "This is
another test. I am reduced to being a Soviet guinea pig. You have a new
weapon. You dare not test it openly. You have stupid treaties with our mortal
enemies, the Americans, too. But in me you have a way to test this fearsome
device by proxy. Undetected by America. And if detected, who is it who gets
bombed? Not Moscow. Not the Ukraine. But Lobynia!"
"I must remind you of your own words, comrade. You demanded Soviet assistance.
This weapon has been deployed on your soil at your request."
"A trick! Another Russian trick. I am given a weapon of ultimate terror and I
am reduced to flinging locomotives."
"Both launches were successful."
"Successful? Successful, comrade?" The Colonel jumped around his desk. His
cruel face shoved into the Russian's own. "See that map?" he said, pointing to
a global wall map.
"Yes, of course."
"Show me the targets I have destroyed."
"You cannot expect accuracy with such projectiles."
"I know that, you dog!"
"A locomotive cannot be controlled in flight. As it is, the first launch was
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